Sunday, September 26, 2010

Mental Junk Drawer

At home I have a drawer (really 10 drawers and various boxes) into which I pitch all the crap that makes me bitch. All the stuff that the other people who live there leave lying around on the floors, tables, chairs and other assorted horizontial surfaces. Can't find your necklace? Check the drawer. Your screwdriver? Check the drawer? Your Barbie? Your Sippy? Your Book? Your Crayons? Your Pants? Not there? Check the other drawer.

So this blog post is a mental junk drawer. Here's some of the blog posts I'd like to write but don't have time for. Some of these posts are aimed at my children and some at my students. A few apply equally to both audiences.

  1. If you remembered to put on pants, you should have remembered to bring your textbook.
  2. If you refuse to tie your shoes, you should not be surprised that you got hurt.
    • Hugely important in the Chem Lab
  3. I know that you are lying.
    • I can see the chocolate on your face
    • Don't even get me started! My 2 year old can lie better than that!
  4. Grandparents are old and can die at any moment.
    • We should not worry about death. We should enjoy the time we have with them.
    • It is unlikely that all ten of them will die in the second semester of your freshman year of college just before final exams.
  5. I can't unlock their minds if you won't unlock the door.
  6. Racial politics in the classroom - Blackboards vs Whiteboards
  7. No one listens to me.
    1. Not my kids
    2. Not my husband
    3. Not my students
    4. Not the administrators where I teach
    5. Not the cats
    6. Maybe the fish, but I'm not sure he has ears. I'm not even sure he's a he. (Hey, I teach chemistry, not biology.)
  8. Suddenly you want to listen, now that you ....
    1. Can't find the TV remote
    2. "
    3. Flunked the first test
    4. Realize that you scheduled two classes in the same lab at the same time
    5. Are hungry (goes for kids and husband as well as the cats)
    6. Flippy?
  9. Mastering the art of Chalk Squeaks
    1. How to sound Psycho